Our "letter of introduction"

Rachel is leaving in five days to teach English at a school in Japan. The program that she is working with encourages it's teachers to send a letter of introduction to the school that they will be teaching at. Since Rachel is busy packing, Emily and I wrote her letter for her. Here it is:

Dear Kusatsu School:

We are sending you our dearest friend, Rachel. We've written this letter to advise you of some things that you should know about her as she embarks on her teaching venture at your school.

Rachel is a vibrant and enthusiastic individual. She is smart and spunky and a thoroughly entertaining storyteller. She is kind and will take excellent care of your students. While her mannerisms may be occasionally quirky, she will always act with the best of intentions and work hard to ensure that all of her students excel at their studies. We're sure that her students will find her a most memorable instructor.

Rachel has many interests which she feels passionately about. Her appreciation of Asian art and pop culture have led her to many interesting pursuits, including the impersonation of several anime characters. Her diligence in recreating the costumes will be matched in her teaching endeavors. Japanese culture has influenced her studies and pursuits throughout her childhood and on into her college career.

Her recent graduation from Western Washington University means that she is equipped to give students a well-rounded education. We hope that her credentials are sufficiently supplemented by our endorsement of her personal abilities. We hope that you will care for her while she is teaching at your school, and return her to us safe and sound.

Sincerely,

Emily and Megan

P.S. We've included below a few tips for maximizing your "Rachel experience."

1. Give her sugar. Lots of sugar. She functions best when under the influence of candy.
2. Compliment her outfits. She blossoms when her good taste is noticed, and works hard to keep herself well put together and on trend.
3. Introduce her to new and exciting things
4. Rachel is ticklish on her side, behind her knees and every so often - on her feet... should you feel so inclined.
5. Encourage Rachel to tell family stories and other anecdotes. Be sure to leave several hours available to fully appreciate the minute details and general exuberance.
6. Be sure to absorb Rachel's unique inflections. They deviate from standard English, only to give it flavor.
7. A word of fair warning: Do not attempt to marry Rachel unless you are Jewish, for fear of incurring the wrath of Grandma Bobby. One night stands are encouraged. Dating is alright, I guess.
8. Develop an appreciation for Rachel's propensity to turn everyday occurrences into song.

Follow these tips, and you will enjoy Rachel every bit as much as we do. Thank you for your time.